Greetings friends!
Homesickness is a very taboo subject.
It's so common amongst young students particularly, and yet it isn't ever spoken out loud. We've attached shame to the word "homesick" as if missing home comforts, family, friends, pets somehow cancels out your gratitude of being where you are.
I moved to New York, you probably all know by now. I post pictures of my amazing New York adventures because that's what I want to look back on in years to come. I want to remember the bright lights, the beautiful skyline, the sunset over the city. But not every moment can be like that. You can love where you live, love your life and still have bad days. You can make amazing new friends, and still miss the people you love back home.
Homesickness isn't shameful. Homesickness is normal. Homesickness shows that whilst you are grateful to have the opportunities that you do, you also love your life at home. You love the people you choose to surround yourself with.
I think it's sadder when people aren't homesick, when they don't want to go home at the end of a long semester. I think we should be grateful that we have a home that is worth missing.
But living away from home is all about balance. You can feel homesick, but you should also live in these moments whilst you can, and remember that it isn't forever. So I've put together a list of things I like to do when I feel lonely or homesick or I miss the people there.
1. Take something that reminds you of home.
I took a cat toy that I used to sleep with when I was little. (Okay, I guess that's not strictly true because I am sleeping with it now in NYC at age 20, but you get the point). It's a little cuddly toy that my grandparents bought me when I was about 4 years old and we went to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang: the stage show. I don't remember the show (well, I remember the flying car) but I do remember me, my sister and my cousin all picking out a little cat toy of different colours. This was mine.
2. Watch a Netflix show you've seen before.
Obviously you can also watch things you have not seen before. But my advice for homesickness is specifically to watch something you've seen a million times before. Maybe it's just me and you'll all think I'm crazy but watching something I've seen before is like coming home from a long day at work. There's something comforting about knowing what's coming next, and loving it no matter how many times you've watched it. It also reminds me of times I've watched it previously. For instance, watching the Great British Bake Off (which is actually called the Great British Baking Show in the USA - WTF?!) reminds me of watching it with my sister for the first time last summer. Okay, so reading it back it sounds a little crazy but I swear it works!!
3. Facetime, Facetime, Facetime!
Modern technology and social media definitely has its downsides, but it has also made moving across the world a lot less lonely! If I'm having a bad day (or even if I'm having a good day that I want to share with people back home) I can just pick up my phone and be talking face to face (well, face to screen to face I suppose) with someone in a minute. I was told before I left that you shouldn't call home too often because it will make you miss it more. I have to say, I disagree completely. I think you should call home every day if that's what makes you feel good. If that doesn't make you feel better, then yes you should avoid calling home often, but honestly I don't know many people who that is the case for. Most people feel less homesick when they're not thinking about when is next "acceptable" to call home. Just pick up the damn phone!
4. Immerse yourself in your new surroundings.
It pretty much goes without saying but keeping busy and exploring the new place you're in is the best way to settle in fast. I was unlucky that I had to move during a pandemic that left me in quarantine for 14 days. If that hadn't been the case, you can bet I would have been to all the major tourist spots in New York in the first week! If you make a big move, however far away from home it is, you have to jump right into your life there. Make the most of the time you have and start to love the things that make it different from your home. There must be a reason you chose to leave everything you know behind, so remember those things, experience those things. When you're back home, you'll wish you were still there. Soak it all up.
5. Write a journal.
You don't have to write in it every day if you don't feel like it, but journaling is a great way to explore how you're feeling and what you're thinking. It's important to validate yourself and not to ignore your emotions. It's okay to be sad that you're away from your home, whist simultaneously being overjoyed to be in a new place! Emotions are not mutually exclusive and there are no rules about how you should feel in any given situation. So don't rely on anyone else to tell you how you feel. Get in touch with yourself, write down your experiences and your true feelings. Nobody ever has to see what you write, so you can be totally honest with yourself without any embarrassment. Give it a try, it might transform your life!
I hope you're all keeping well and testing negative, if you know what I mean!
Virtual hugs,
Charlotte. X
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