Greetings friends!
Well, we finally made it to the end of 2020 and inevitably the "new year, new me" mantra is back plastered all over social media.
I haven't always been one for New Year's resolutions, and when I have they have almost always been things like "learn a new language" or "exercise three times a day". More of a to-do list than a set of goals.
2020 taught me that your plans almost always hold no basis in this world, and they can change in the blink of an eye.
So instead of setting a list of goals and calling them New Year's resolutions, this year I have decided that my list will take on a different tone...
1. Stop watching the clock
Does anyone else feel like they're constantly counting down to something?
Before 2020 I was always thinking "I can't wait for..." something. The weekend, the summer, Christmas, literally anything apart from what was happening in the moment.
2020 started in very much the same way, but when COVID hit, we no longer could count down to something because we didn't know when "normal" life would resume. For the first time I can remember, I stopped the countdown that's always ticking over in my head and I lived only for the day.
This is something I want to continue in 2021. Whilst there are many things about 2020 that I will be happy to see the back of, the appreciation I have for each and every day, whether its a big event or just a sofa, food, tv kinda day, is not something I ever want to lose.
2. Stop measuring my success against others'
How often do you look at social media and immediately jump to compare your life to what you're seeing on the screen?
In the world that we live in today, everything is about comparison.
Your education is compared to others when you apply for jobs.
Your lifestyle is compared to others on social media.
Your body is compared to others in magazines.
Everything in life has become a competition, and so naturally we have adapted to always be comparing ourselves to others.
A little healthy competition here and there is all in good fun. But I realised recently that I will never be happy with my own successes if I'm always actively looking for someone who is doing better.
It doesn't matter if someone else is "ahead" of you. Their path is their path, and yours is yours. It is crazy that we automatically compare someone else's life to our own, when we're living them completely separately.
From now on, I will celebrate all my successes, no matter how small, and in spite of how successful other people are.
3. Recognise that asking for help is a strength
Do you remember a time before society told you that asking for help was a sign of weakness?
I am a very independent person, who finds asking for help doesn't come easily.
In fact, I will almost always wait until I'm at breaking point with a task before I admit that I might need a tiny bit of help.
I used to think that asking for help was a sign of failure because it meant I wasn't able to do something myself. In my head it meant that the task was only possible because of someone else, and therefore it was their success and my failure.
Life isn't like that though. More often than not, things are easier when you have someone to help you.
This is true for physical tasks, but also for mental wellbeing.
In 2020, I worked a lot on my mental health and it wasn't a quick and easy fix but it improved my quality of life so much. I waited a long time to get help for my mental health and now I look back I can't believe I wasted so much time thinking that asking for that help was such a crime when now I am so much happier.
In 2021, I will continue to nurture my mental health and recognise it is just as important as my physical health. I can only hope that you all feel able to do the same, and if you're not there yet, you will find the courage to seek the help you need.
4. Continue to raise awareness for chronic illness
Before you began reading my blog, how much did you really know about chronic conditions?
I started my blog in 2019, but 2020 was the year it really started to grow, and I grew with it.
This year opened my eyes to how much further we have to go to make the general public aware of chronic illness. There is such a lack of not only awareness, but of understanding from people about how debilitating chronic illness is, and how many people are affected by variations of these illnesses.
If there was little to no research happening for Alzheimer's disease, there would be outcry from across the globe, even from those unaffected by the illness. But this is the reality for chronic illnesses, and yet there is silence from the majority. It's going to take more than those of us advocating for ourselves for the research to pick up. It needs widespread pleas from both the people living with the illnesses themselves, and those who are completely healthy but are outraged that there is such limited treatment for those conditions.
I am 20 years old, and I have been diagnosed with a chronic illness that has no cure, and no medicinal treatment. The only thing a health professional can do for me is offer me therapy to cope with the mental health implications of living with chronic illness.
In 2021, I want to make more people aware of chronic illness so they can be as furious about this as everyone else in the community is.
5. Be happy
What would make you happy this year?
So you are probably thinking "well, obviously everyone wants to be happy but that's not how life works". Why is that not how life works? Why do we instantly say that something is a "bad" day, or a "bad" week, or a "bad" year as soon as something bad happens?
We are so quick to write off our time because something inconvenient, sad or unexpected happens.
Don't get it twisted, I am in no way taking away from anyone's sadness.
Bad things do happen, and you should absolutely allow yourself to feel sad, or angry about those things. But my point is that you shouldn't spend all of your time being sad about one thing that happened and miss all of the other amazing, exciting and happy things that your life can offer you.
Some of you might be thinking that your unhappiness does not come down to just the simple bad things that happen in a day (the one that always gets me is the burnt toast in the morning - pure anger). Some of you might believe that it is a combination of everything in your life that is making you unhappy.
In reality, most of us can normally pinpoint two or three big factors in our lives that make us unhappy.
My advice to you in those situations are: change something.
And I mean change something big.
If you are stuck in a 9-5 job that you hate but you want to become a mummy blogger instead, start today. If you want to move to another country and start over, okay do it! If you have been in a relationship that's going nowhere and you don't think its making you happy anymore, leave!
I know I'm making this all sound very simple when in reality it isn't so easy, but I want you to realise that if you are truly unhappy you need to change something no matter how risky or scary or crazy it seems.
Life is so, so short and if nothing else 2020 taught us that. Do not waste it being unhappy because you don't know what would happen if you blew up your life to start again. Just change something, dive in, take a leap of faith.
It's true what they say: you always regret the chances you didn't take.
I wish you all the happiest, healthiest 2021.
Thank you for seeing me through 2020, I hope you'll stick around for this next chapter.
Charlotte. X
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